RESEARCH

Research papers are so different now.  I did a lot of research papers in high school many years ago, and the only source I used, was the books in the library.  Since high school, I have only written a few, but it seems to be much easier, because there are so many resources on the web.  I don't have to go anywhere.  Sometimes, though, I get stuck, because there is almost too many resources.  I need to learn how to filter out the good, helpful sources from the useless sources.

I do love to research topics.  I do it all the time, but not usually for writing purposes. For instance, my daughter has PKD and when I found out, I had to learn as much as I could about it.  I don't know where I would be if I didn't know anything about it.  The only bad thing for me when I research a topic is that it takes me hours and hours, because I don't know how to filter out the useless information.  My goal is going to be learning a more efficient way to research on the web.

My topic for my research paper is why gay Pastors shouldn't be allowed.  I feel very strongly about this and not only am I doing this for an assignment, but I am learning a lot about the subject.  I know it is a very controversial subject, but I believe it to be wrong and I am going to voice why I feel that way.  

I am a Christian, and therefore I believe in the Bible.  I believe that anyone who wants to go to church should go.  But, I do not like when a Christian pastor teaches the Bible, but has no regard for his actions.  What is the purpose of teaching something if you go against what it says.  It would be like a judge sentencing you for drunk driving, but then getting caught doing it himself.  Why have laws, if the person or person's making them won't even follow them.  Many say Christians are hypocrites.  Pastors who teach the Bible and deliberately defy it, are hypocrites.  Everyone makes mistakes and even Pastors aren't perfect, but that doesn't mean they are hypocrites.  As long as they are doing everything to change what they have done.  Repenting (turning away from sin), and forgiveness will get them back on the right track.  If a Pastor is gay, he has no right teaching the Bible, because it is a sin to be a homosexual, unless he is trying to turn away from it.  I could go on and on, but I will save that for my research paper.





   

FALLACIES

In advertising we hear a lot of fallacies.  They are good at catching your attention and reeling you in.  It's funny how we can get caught in the trap even though we know that what they are saying isn't quite the truth.  The ones I fall for are the weight loss ones.  I know what they advertise will happen, won't happen, but I still try the product. 

I have to say that I have had to use fallacies.  When you work in sales, you will most likely have to tell these half truths.  I am not sure how other people feel about using fallacies, but I feel guilty.  If I can get away with not using them, I feel much better.  I like to be able to offer all possibilities, regardless of whether or not I am suppose to.  When you only offer the most expensive product, but advertise a less expensive product, you are cheating the customer.  I feel I should offer the advertised price, and then add from there.  If the customer wants it, they'll get it.

I don't think lying about something for your gain is right.  Politicians are very good at this.   Politicians tell you anything you want to hear if they know you may follow them. They promise so much, but never deliver.  It is hard to say if they really believe they could do what they promised, or if it was just a little white lie to get what they want.

There are so many different forms of fallacies, and if you stop to think about conversation, advertisements, or other sources of communication, you will notice them.  There probably isn't a single soul that hasn't used one.

SUICIDE, SCHOOL SHOOTINGS AND BULLYING

What do you think the consequence for bullying should be? Should we slap someone on the wrist and say "it's okay, just don't do it again"?  Or should we expel them from school for a few days?  There are several different ways we could handle it, but I just want to say that, if something isn't done and if we don't acknowledge it, things will never change.  There has been a multitude of issues stemming from bullying.  Columbine High will always be a reminder of school violence.  Innocent lives were taken and the guilty ones took their own.  How many school shootings have there been since?  What about suicides?  What causes these?  I believe bullying does.  I think that kids who are getting teased or getting beat up are very vulnerable to a multitude of emotions.  They may be scared, sad or depressed, angry or resentful.  This can lead to a couple of different things.

Suicide is very common among bullied kids.  They may not have the ability to cope with it and may get so withdrawn and depressed, that they may feel there is no other way to escape from it.  For instance, if someone is getting teased or bullied online it usually involves several people.  Then, the child goes to school and gets it there too.  Some get nasty text messages.  So the child literally can't escape it.  How much can a child take before they get to the point of feeling there is not way out but suicide?  It's easy for someone who is emotionally strong to say that these kids are just feeling sorry for themselves, and that there are just taking the easy way out.  I know from experience that very empty feeling is the worst feeling.

School shootings seem to continue happening.  I used to think that bullying or teasing could possibly be the cause of these.  It can go both ways.  Maybe the shooter is a bully themselves and wants to take it further and end someones life.  Or, perhaps the shooter is the one being bullied.  I am here to talk about the one that is being bullied.  Some will argue that being bullied is no excuse for shooting someone.  I agree, but I would like to look into why they might have done it.  When someone is being bullied or teased by a certain group of people it can really mess them up.  Getting angry and resentful toward the offender is a normal response, but some don't know how to handle it, and they may end up becoming so angry that they just want the bullying to stop, and if it doesn't they may feel the only way to get rid of it is to get rid of the bully.  The victim in this situation is both the bully and the one being bullied. But again, no one has the right to take another person's life, no matter what the reason may be..  But you need to ask yourself, "would it have happened if that person wasn't being mistreated?".  This is an argument that really has no winner.

No one should EVER have to feel like they need to kill themselves or others to escape being bullied.  There needs to be something done.  A lot of schools are doing searches for weapons, but not many have a strict policy about bullying.  My daughter was just in a position where she got into a little trouble at school and the Asst. principle told her straight out that some people are going to be asking questions and that she may get a little grief for what she did, but he told her if anyone starts teasing her and getting in her face about it she needs to tell him right away.  He said they have a zero tolerance for bullying.  Unfortunately most kids don't want to say anything, and if they do, some teachers, and sometimes even parents, don't want to address the situation.

I think that if the schools could get some strict policies in place and have experienced counselors on site, it would help a lot.  A lot of these children need to have someone to talk to.  If they are feeling depressed, make sure they have someone to talk to.  Get them as much support as you can.  If they are feeling angry and resentful, again make sure they are talking to someone.  They need to have a way to divert their anger.  Maybe they should be monitored, so than they don't do anything stupid.  But jumping the gun and treating them like criminals before the criminal act has even taken place isn't right either.  They need help, so make sure they get it.

I am not blaming schools, students, or parents for any of this.  I just really believe with all my heart that something needs to be done about bullying.  Bullies really need to be punished.  Make schools safe, from not only physical violence, but emotional too.  It takes a group effort.  Parents if you ask your child everyday they come home from school if they bullied anyone, or if anyone bullied them.  If the answer is yes to one or both, talk to child.  If teachers, or other students for that matter, see something happening, do something about it.  Don't just ignore it.  It isn't going to go away.

THUMBS UP FOR "THE GLASS CASTLE"

"The Glass Castle", is a very inspirational memoir written by Jeannette Walls.  It is about a girl who lived in poverty with an alcoholic father, mentally ill mother, and three siblings, whom she loves dearly.   She does a fabulous job describing the places she has lived in, and the events that took place in her childhood.  She does a fantastic job reaching out to her readers emotionally.  I went through several different emotions throughout the book.  I could feel what she was feeling.  So not only did I love the book, but I loved how she captured me; hook, line, and sinker.

This book has something for almost everyone.  A lot of people know someone or have physically been through some of the instances in the book  It touches on poverty, sexual abuse, bullying, alcoholism, infidelity, and mental illness.  It may even start a debate, because everyone is going to have their own opinion about what is going through the minds of Rose Mary and Rex and the children.  Just remember everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You need to have a somewhat open mind when reading it

Most of all, I think this book is inspirational because it shows the close bond of family and what unconditional love is.  Rose Mary and her siblings turn out to be wonderful, responsible adults who do what they can to still help out their parents, even after all they had put them through.  They don't seem to hold any resentment.  That is amazing!  So I give it a thumbs up

BODY ART

Tattoos-I am going to start off by saying that the body art I am referring to is-tattoos and piercings.  When I was a teenager I was very into heavy metal music, black everything.  I wanted a tattoo so bad, but I was too scared to get one.  I am so thankful that I didn't get one, because I probably would have gotten a skull and crossbones tattoo.  I would be very embarrassed to have something like that now.  I am very different than what I was then. 

If you are looking to get a tattoo, ask yourself if it is something that you will like forever.  What is the tattoo going to look like when you get old, and what will it look like if you gain or lose a lot of weight?  I know many people that regret what they have tattooed on their bodies.  It is usually permanent so make sure you really think about it before you do it.  Removing later on may not be that easy.

I am by no means knocking anyone for getting a tattoo.  I don't mind some of them.  But in my personal opinion, I don't like sleeve tattoos, or any tattoos that cover a good portion of the body.  It is ok to express your individuality, and it doesn't matter if someone likes it or not.  If you like it that is all that matters.  Tattoos these days are more a fad than they ever used to be.  All sorts of people are getting them, so there isn't much of a stigma anymore.

Body Piercings-I don't mind body piercings, but some go a little to far.  I think that some are just down right nasty, but that is my opinion.   Piercings, unlike tattoos, are more easily removed.  You can also cover them up well.  All you need to do is take them out.  Some leave huge holes in your ears though, so you may want to think about that before you try gauging.  I have a tiny little scar in my eyebrow from an eyebrow piercing, but no one would ever guess that I had it because you can't see the scar unless you are 10 inches from my face.

I think piercings are becoming more popular, but there are still a lot of people that don't like them.  People who have them get stared at a lot.  People would stare at me and I would wonder why, but then I would remember I had my eyebrow pierced.  I honestly loved my eyebrow ring.  I would probably still have it if I didn't have to take it out for my job.  I got it to express my individuality. 

I am ok with tattoos and body piercings, but I don't like the extremes.  Nobody has to agree with me either way, because I have my own opinion.  If you like a lot of tattoos and piercings, then go ahead and get them.  If you don't want any, then  don't get them.  As long as you like who you are, body art or no body art.

BULLYING

Bullying has become a huge epidemic in schools.  There have always been bully's, but it seems to be out of hand, because there is no discipline.  Parents aren't disciplining their kids as much and teachers have a hard time disciplining students because they have to worry about offending parents or other students.  Some teachers turn a blind eye on bullying, because they don't want to deal with the situation.  No matter the reason, it has to stop.

In the past, or at least when I was in high school, suicide was very prevalent, and usually was the end result of some sort of bullying.  I studied it a lot.  All my reports in high school were on teenage suicide.  Now days, however, students are getting revenge before they take their own lives.  I am by no means condoning the behavior, because it is so wrong, but I think we need to take a look at what is happening in schools.  It shouldn't take suicide, or school shootings to make us see what is really going on in schools.

I was the object of bullying when I was in high school.  I was very overweight and so people loved to make cow noises around me.  They would call me fat and other names.  My friend was called a slut by the ring leader of a group of "mean girls" and when she turned to laugh about it to the others, I told her to, you know what, and she whipped her head around, and looking like a possessed demon, asked "who said that?".  Everyone in my group was so quiet and scared, me as well, but I had to face up to an impulsive response to an insult, so I said, "me".  The bell rang at that very moment so we all turned to rush to our classes.  She caught me in the hall, and slapped me, and told me to never speak to her like that again.  I did nothing, but I was glad I said something.  I believe you should confront the bully and if they continue to bully you, then you need to go to someone and tell them what is happening, because that is how the bullying is going to end.  You can't just wish it away.

I had an episode with my daughter this week that has had me almost crippled with very mixed emotions.  Nobody wants to see their high schooler in trouble.  The school called me and told me she was in possession of a water bottle that contained alcohol.  I was dumbfounded.  I was very upset with her.  But as the day went on, I found myself getting angry.  People were telling me, because she go caught that she was a bad kid.  I know it was the first time she tried it.  So then I found myself asking people if they would call a pregnant teen a slut, because she got caught having sex and it may have been the first and only time she did it.  I found out that the other girl that was also drinking was getting very depressed because of being bullied in school.  My daughter was too, but she is pretty tough emotionally so she blows it off.  We told the girls that what they did was a mistake and just because there is bullying, doesn't mean they can drink.  The point I am trying to make, is that, because of this whole situation, there are going to be changes made and the girls that are doing the bullying are being confronted.  Sometimes great things come of big mistakes.

Another issue is labeling.  I don't believe that you are who your friends are, or guilt by association.  I told my kids after this situation that they can be friends with whoever they want to be, because they can make their own decisions and are responsible for them.  But if a friend is encouraging you or pressuring you into something you don't want to do, you need to be strong enough to say no and ask yourself if that person is really your friend, because they obviously don't care about your well being.  So, anyhow, this is what leads to labeling.  I was constantly labeled a "druggie", because all of my friends did drugs and they all smoked.  I never once even tried the stuff.  It even got to the point of my teachers accusing me of stuff.  They were all labeling me because of the people I hung around.  My friends were awesome, and they never, ever pressured me, in fact, they congratulated me on being a strong person.  I have to believe that if I can be strong enough to stay away from that, that it may eventually get to one of them and they may make the choice to get away from it.  I always felt that maybe I can be the light in the dark. 

Labeling, verbal insults, physical abuse and many other things are considered bullying.  If we can all watch out for it and voice what is going on, we may be able to make some progress.  It is never going to end if we don't address it.  Teachers need to be able to address it too.  Teachers and students both are scared of what may happen, but worse things can come of it if we don't do something about it.  If my daughter's situation turns into a lot of bullying by others, I am going to make a stand against it.  Many people are telling me to turn my back and be tough and ignore it, because it's going to happen and I have no control over it.  I may not have control, but I will die trying to make a difference.  If I can voice my concern, I might be able to reach some, and maybe, after thinking about it for a while, they will realize that what they are doing is wrong.  Like I said, good things can come of difficult situations.

Functional or Dysfunctional?

When I think of a functional family, I think of the Ingalls, from Little House on the Prairie.  The family consists of a mom, a dad, and three children.  The kids are good kids and there aren't any domestic issues, drinking problems or other problems.  The father works and the mother is nurturing and takes care of the home.  Normal, right?  I would say at that time it most definately was.  I am sure they had some issues, but it seems they were the perfect family.

When I think of a dysfunctional family, I think of the movie Precious.  This family consists of a drug addict mother who has different men over all the time, and a teenage daughter, Precious.  Precious is neglected and abused, and doesn't receive any love or nurturing from her mother. No matter what, this is a dysfunctional family in every aspect.  No child should have to be abused or neglected.  There should be more intervention in this kind of a dysfunctional family.

I believe that a functional family has love, respect, and it doesn't have addictions.  There is no abuse or neglect.  It is a family that has children living with their biological mom and dad.  To me that is the perfect family and therefore a functional family.  A dysfunctional family is everything else.  However, just because I think that a family is dysfunctional doesn't mean it is abnormal.  In fact, it is becoming the norm. What I feel is a dysfunctional family may be completely opposite of what someone else feels.  I come from a dysfunctional family and so it has helped form my opinion.  I talk to people all the time that claim they have a dysfunctional family, so maybe dysfunction is everywhere.