Bullying has become a huge epidemic in schools. There have always been bully's, but it seems to be out of hand, because there is no discipline. Parents aren't disciplining their kids as much and teachers have a hard time disciplining students because they have to worry about offending parents or other students. Some teachers turn a blind eye on bullying, because they don't want to deal with the situation. No matter the reason, it has to stop.
In the past, or at least when I was in high school, suicide was very prevalent, and usually was the end result of some sort of bullying. I studied it a lot. All my reports in high school were on teenage suicide. Now days, however, students are getting revenge before they take their own lives. I am by no means condoning the behavior, because it is so wrong, but I think we need to take a look at what is happening in schools. It shouldn't take suicide, or school shootings to make us see what is really going on in schools.
I was the object of bullying when I was in high school. I was very overweight and so people loved to make cow noises around me. They would call me fat and other names. My friend was called a slut by the ring leader of a group of "mean girls" and when she turned to laugh about it to the others, I told her to, you know what, and she whipped her head around, and looking like a possessed demon, asked "who said that?". Everyone in my group was so quiet and scared, me as well, but I had to face up to an impulsive response to an insult, so I said, "me". The bell rang at that very moment so we all turned to rush to our classes. She caught me in the hall, and slapped me, and told me to never speak to her like that again. I did nothing, but I was glad I said something. I believe you should confront the bully and if they continue to bully you, then you need to go to someone and tell them what is happening, because that is how the bullying is going to end. You can't just wish it away.
I had an episode with my daughter this week that has had me almost crippled with very mixed emotions. Nobody wants to see their high schooler in trouble. The school called me and told me she was in possession of a water bottle that contained alcohol. I was dumbfounded. I was very upset with her. But as the day went on, I found myself getting angry. People were telling me, because she go caught that she was a bad kid. I know it was the first time she tried it. So then I found myself asking people if they would call a pregnant teen a slut, because she got caught having sex and it may have been the first and only time she did it. I found out that the other girl that was also drinking was getting very depressed because of being bullied in school. My daughter was too, but she is pretty tough emotionally so she blows it off. We told the girls that what they did was a mistake and just because there is bullying, doesn't mean they can drink. The point I am trying to make, is that, because of this whole situation, there are going to be changes made and the girls that are doing the bullying are being confronted. Sometimes great things come of big mistakes.
Another issue is labeling. I don't believe that you are who your friends are, or guilt by association. I told my kids after this situation that they can be friends with whoever they want to be, because they can make their own decisions and are responsible for them. But if a friend is encouraging you or pressuring you into something you don't want to do, you need to be strong enough to say no and ask yourself if that person is really your friend, because they obviously don't care about your well being. So, anyhow, this is what leads to labeling. I was constantly labeled a "druggie", because all of my friends did drugs and they all smoked. I never once even tried the stuff. It even got to the point of my teachers accusing me of stuff. They were all labeling me because of the people I hung around. My friends were awesome, and they never, ever pressured me, in fact, they congratulated me on being a strong person. I have to believe that if I can be strong enough to stay away from that, that it may eventually get to one of them and they may make the choice to get away from it. I always felt that maybe I can be the light in the dark.
Labeling, verbal insults, physical abuse and many other things are considered bullying. If we can all watch out for it and voice what is going on, we may be able to make some progress. It is never going to end if we don't address it. Teachers need to be able to address it too. Teachers and students both are scared of what may happen, but worse things can come of it if we don't do something about it. If my daughter's situation turns into a lot of bullying by others, I am going to make a stand against it. Many people are telling me to turn my back and be tough and ignore it, because it's going to happen and I have no control over it. I may not have control, but I will die trying to make a difference. If I can voice my concern, I might be able to reach some, and maybe, after thinking about it for a while, they will realize that what they are doing is wrong. Like I said, good things can come of difficult situations.
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