Well it is the end of the semester. I have written several essays and I have blogged. I have used Smart thinking and have reviewed my peers' work. But, the question is "have I learned anything?"
I was really hoping I would have learned how to write a thesis statement, but I still do not seem to have any idea how to. I thought by the end I was getting it, but found out I still wasn't doing it. I have a hard time organizing paragraphs still. I am the type who likes to write what I feel in no particular order, I just let it flow, so organizing is extremely hard.
I did learn how to cite sources, and I think I know what I'm doing. I learned how to research a topic and how to use databases for research. I really liked that. There is so much material to use.
Blogging. I am not sure what I think about it. I have to say that I do not like the idea that everyone can read my blogs. I am not a good writer, even now, so I don't want to show my writing to anyone. I will probably try to erase this page when I am done with class. I do like to write about whatever comes to mind, but I do not like to organize it, so blogging isn't really for me. I would much rather journal. Which brings me to the double entry journal. This was by far my most favorite assignment. I will more than likely use this kind of journal in the future.
Oh, I forgot to add that the best part of the semester, was the Glass Castle. I loved the book, and I liked writing about it in so many different ways.
Lastly, I would like to say, "Thank you, Nikka". I did enjoy the class, and I think that you are a good teacher. When I needed help you would get back to me right away.
Have a great summer!!!
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Why College?
Why does one go to college? There are many answers to that question. I decided to go back to school, because everyone I know is going back. I was starting to feel like I was below them. They are all making good money, and I have been stuck at the same job for almost 10 years, not really making much, but I love my job.
I originally thought that I could make more money if I went back to college, but after seeing that the average pay for my career is the same as what I am making now, I realized that probably won't happen. But, with the experience I already have, plus a degree, I could end up doing well. I don't like anticipation, so I try not to think about it.
The thought of being in college, graduating, interviews and a new job is very scary for me. I am not one for change, and I am very timid around people; insecure. So far things are going o.k., but I did take on too much, and had to withdraw from a class, which is exactly what I didn't want to happen. But I learned, and hopefully I won't ever have to do that again. But I am more scared than ever now, that I won't succeed. I don't feel I am smart enough to actually get a degree. I wish I could have more confidence, because if I ever want to get a new job, I am going to have to show them that I am confident and I will be able to do the job.
All in all, I really am glad that I am in college. When it is all over, even if I don't get the job I want, I will actually be able to say that I made a goal and I reached it. It will be a major accomplishment for me. I also know that my kids will be proud of me.
I originally thought that I could make more money if I went back to college, but after seeing that the average pay for my career is the same as what I am making now, I realized that probably won't happen. But, with the experience I already have, plus a degree, I could end up doing well. I don't like anticipation, so I try not to think about it.
The thought of being in college, graduating, interviews and a new job is very scary for me. I am not one for change, and I am very timid around people; insecure. So far things are going o.k., but I did take on too much, and had to withdraw from a class, which is exactly what I didn't want to happen. But I learned, and hopefully I won't ever have to do that again. But I am more scared than ever now, that I won't succeed. I don't feel I am smart enough to actually get a degree. I wish I could have more confidence, because if I ever want to get a new job, I am going to have to show them that I am confident and I will be able to do the job.
All in all, I really am glad that I am in college. When it is all over, even if I don't get the job I want, I will actually be able to say that I made a goal and I reached it. It will be a major accomplishment for me. I also know that my kids will be proud of me.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
RESEARCH
Research papers are so different now. I did a lot of research papers in high school many years ago, and the only source I used, was the books in the library. Since high school, I have only written a few, but it seems to be much easier, because there are so many resources on the web. I don't have to go anywhere. Sometimes, though, I get stuck, because there is almost too many resources. I need to learn how to filter out the good, helpful sources from the useless sources.
I do love to research topics. I do it all the time, but not usually for writing purposes. For instance, my daughter has PKD and when I found out, I had to learn as much as I could about it. I don't know where I would be if I didn't know anything about it. The only bad thing for me when I research a topic is that it takes me hours and hours, because I don't know how to filter out the useless information. My goal is going to be learning a more efficient way to research on the web.
My topic for my research paper is why gay Pastors shouldn't be allowed. I feel very strongly about this and not only am I doing this for an assignment, but I am learning a lot about the subject. I know it is a very controversial subject, but I believe it to be wrong and I am going to voice why I feel that way.
I am a Christian, and therefore I believe in the Bible. I believe that anyone who wants to go to church should go. But, I do not like when a Christian pastor teaches the Bible, but has no regard for his actions. What is the purpose of teaching something if you go against what it says. It would be like a judge sentencing you for drunk driving, but then getting caught doing it himself. Why have laws, if the person or person's making them won't even follow them. Many say Christians are hypocrites. Pastors who teach the Bible and deliberately defy it, are hypocrites. Everyone makes mistakes and even Pastors aren't perfect, but that doesn't mean they are hypocrites. As long as they are doing everything to change what they have done. Repenting (turning away from sin), and forgiveness will get them back on the right track. If a Pastor is gay, he has no right teaching the Bible, because it is a sin to be a homosexual, unless he is trying to turn away from it. I could go on and on, but I will save that for my research paper.
I do love to research topics. I do it all the time, but not usually for writing purposes. For instance, my daughter has PKD and when I found out, I had to learn as much as I could about it. I don't know where I would be if I didn't know anything about it. The only bad thing for me when I research a topic is that it takes me hours and hours, because I don't know how to filter out the useless information. My goal is going to be learning a more efficient way to research on the web.
My topic for my research paper is why gay Pastors shouldn't be allowed. I feel very strongly about this and not only am I doing this for an assignment, but I am learning a lot about the subject. I know it is a very controversial subject, but I believe it to be wrong and I am going to voice why I feel that way.
I am a Christian, and therefore I believe in the Bible. I believe that anyone who wants to go to church should go. But, I do not like when a Christian pastor teaches the Bible, but has no regard for his actions. What is the purpose of teaching something if you go against what it says. It would be like a judge sentencing you for drunk driving, but then getting caught doing it himself. Why have laws, if the person or person's making them won't even follow them. Many say Christians are hypocrites. Pastors who teach the Bible and deliberately defy it, are hypocrites. Everyone makes mistakes and even Pastors aren't perfect, but that doesn't mean they are hypocrites. As long as they are doing everything to change what they have done. Repenting (turning away from sin), and forgiveness will get them back on the right track. If a Pastor is gay, he has no right teaching the Bible, because it is a sin to be a homosexual, unless he is trying to turn away from it. I could go on and on, but I will save that for my research paper.
FALLACIES
In advertising we hear a lot of fallacies. They are good at catching your attention and reeling you in. It's funny how we can get caught in the trap even though we know that what they are saying isn't quite the truth. The ones I fall for are the weight loss ones. I know what they advertise will happen, won't happen, but I still try the product.
I have to say that I have had to use fallacies. When you work in sales, you will most likely have to tell these half truths. I am not sure how other people feel about using fallacies, but I feel guilty. If I can get away with not using them, I feel much better. I like to be able to offer all possibilities, regardless of whether or not I am suppose to. When you only offer the most expensive product, but advertise a less expensive product, you are cheating the customer. I feel I should offer the advertised price, and then add from there. If the customer wants it, they'll get it.
I don't think lying about something for your gain is right. Politicians are very good at this. Politicians tell you anything you want to hear if they know you may follow them. They promise so much, but never deliver. It is hard to say if they really believe they could do what they promised, or if it was just a little white lie to get what they want.
There are so many different forms of fallacies, and if you stop to think about conversation, advertisements, or other sources of communication, you will notice them. There probably isn't a single soul that hasn't used one.
I have to say that I have had to use fallacies. When you work in sales, you will most likely have to tell these half truths. I am not sure how other people feel about using fallacies, but I feel guilty. If I can get away with not using them, I feel much better. I like to be able to offer all possibilities, regardless of whether or not I am suppose to. When you only offer the most expensive product, but advertise a less expensive product, you are cheating the customer. I feel I should offer the advertised price, and then add from there. If the customer wants it, they'll get it.
I don't think lying about something for your gain is right. Politicians are very good at this. Politicians tell you anything you want to hear if they know you may follow them. They promise so much, but never deliver. It is hard to say if they really believe they could do what they promised, or if it was just a little white lie to get what they want.
There are so many different forms of fallacies, and if you stop to think about conversation, advertisements, or other sources of communication, you will notice them. There probably isn't a single soul that hasn't used one.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
SUICIDE, SCHOOL SHOOTINGS AND BULLYING
What do you think the consequence for bullying should be? Should we slap someone on the wrist and say "it's okay, just don't do it again"? Or should we expel them from school for a few days? There are several different ways we could handle it, but I just want to say that, if something isn't done and if we don't acknowledge it, things will never change. There has been a multitude of issues stemming from bullying. Columbine High will always be a reminder of school violence. Innocent lives were taken and the guilty ones took their own. How many school shootings have there been since? What about suicides? What causes these? I believe bullying does. I think that kids who are getting teased or getting beat up are very vulnerable to a multitude of emotions. They may be scared, sad or depressed, angry or resentful. This can lead to a couple of different things.
Suicide is very common among bullied kids. They may not have the ability to cope with it and may get so withdrawn and depressed, that they may feel there is no other way to escape from it. For instance, if someone is getting teased or bullied online it usually involves several people. Then, the child goes to school and gets it there too. Some get nasty text messages. So the child literally can't escape it. How much can a child take before they get to the point of feeling there is not way out but suicide? It's easy for someone who is emotionally strong to say that these kids are just feeling sorry for themselves, and that there are just taking the easy way out. I know from experience that very empty feeling is the worst feeling.
School shootings seem to continue happening. I used to think that bullying or teasing could possibly be the cause of these. It can go both ways. Maybe the shooter is a bully themselves and wants to take it further and end someones life. Or, perhaps the shooter is the one being bullied. I am here to talk about the one that is being bullied. Some will argue that being bullied is no excuse for shooting someone. I agree, but I would like to look into why they might have done it. When someone is being bullied or teased by a certain group of people it can really mess them up. Getting angry and resentful toward the offender is a normal response, but some don't know how to handle it, and they may end up becoming so angry that they just want the bullying to stop, and if it doesn't they may feel the only way to get rid of it is to get rid of the bully. The victim in this situation is both the bully and the one being bullied. But again, no one has the right to take another person's life, no matter what the reason may be.. But you need to ask yourself, "would it have happened if that person wasn't being mistreated?". This is an argument that really has no winner.
No one should EVER have to feel like they need to kill themselves or others to escape being bullied. There needs to be something done. A lot of schools are doing searches for weapons, but not many have a strict policy about bullying. My daughter was just in a position where she got into a little trouble at school and the Asst. principle told her straight out that some people are going to be asking questions and that she may get a little grief for what she did, but he told her if anyone starts teasing her and getting in her face about it she needs to tell him right away. He said they have a zero tolerance for bullying. Unfortunately most kids don't want to say anything, and if they do, some teachers, and sometimes even parents, don't want to address the situation.
I think that if the schools could get some strict policies in place and have experienced counselors on site, it would help a lot. A lot of these children need to have someone to talk to. If they are feeling depressed, make sure they have someone to talk to. Get them as much support as you can. If they are feeling angry and resentful, again make sure they are talking to someone. They need to have a way to divert their anger. Maybe they should be monitored, so than they don't do anything stupid. But jumping the gun and treating them like criminals before the criminal act has even taken place isn't right either. They need help, so make sure they get it.
I am not blaming schools, students, or parents for any of this. I just really believe with all my heart that something needs to be done about bullying. Bullies really need to be punished. Make schools safe, from not only physical violence, but emotional too. It takes a group effort. Parents if you ask your child everyday they come home from school if they bullied anyone, or if anyone bullied them. If the answer is yes to one or both, talk to child. If teachers, or other students for that matter, see something happening, do something about it. Don't just ignore it. It isn't going to go away.
Suicide is very common among bullied kids. They may not have the ability to cope with it and may get so withdrawn and depressed, that they may feel there is no other way to escape from it. For instance, if someone is getting teased or bullied online it usually involves several people. Then, the child goes to school and gets it there too. Some get nasty text messages. So the child literally can't escape it. How much can a child take before they get to the point of feeling there is not way out but suicide? It's easy for someone who is emotionally strong to say that these kids are just feeling sorry for themselves, and that there are just taking the easy way out. I know from experience that very empty feeling is the worst feeling.
School shootings seem to continue happening. I used to think that bullying or teasing could possibly be the cause of these. It can go both ways. Maybe the shooter is a bully themselves and wants to take it further and end someones life. Or, perhaps the shooter is the one being bullied. I am here to talk about the one that is being bullied. Some will argue that being bullied is no excuse for shooting someone. I agree, but I would like to look into why they might have done it. When someone is being bullied or teased by a certain group of people it can really mess them up. Getting angry and resentful toward the offender is a normal response, but some don't know how to handle it, and they may end up becoming so angry that they just want the bullying to stop, and if it doesn't they may feel the only way to get rid of it is to get rid of the bully. The victim in this situation is both the bully and the one being bullied. But again, no one has the right to take another person's life, no matter what the reason may be.. But you need to ask yourself, "would it have happened if that person wasn't being mistreated?". This is an argument that really has no winner.
No one should EVER have to feel like they need to kill themselves or others to escape being bullied. There needs to be something done. A lot of schools are doing searches for weapons, but not many have a strict policy about bullying. My daughter was just in a position where she got into a little trouble at school and the Asst. principle told her straight out that some people are going to be asking questions and that she may get a little grief for what she did, but he told her if anyone starts teasing her and getting in her face about it she needs to tell him right away. He said they have a zero tolerance for bullying. Unfortunately most kids don't want to say anything, and if they do, some teachers, and sometimes even parents, don't want to address the situation.
I think that if the schools could get some strict policies in place and have experienced counselors on site, it would help a lot. A lot of these children need to have someone to talk to. If they are feeling depressed, make sure they have someone to talk to. Get them as much support as you can. If they are feeling angry and resentful, again make sure they are talking to someone. They need to have a way to divert their anger. Maybe they should be monitored, so than they don't do anything stupid. But jumping the gun and treating them like criminals before the criminal act has even taken place isn't right either. They need help, so make sure they get it.
I am not blaming schools, students, or parents for any of this. I just really believe with all my heart that something needs to be done about bullying. Bullies really need to be punished. Make schools safe, from not only physical violence, but emotional too. It takes a group effort. Parents if you ask your child everyday they come home from school if they bullied anyone, or if anyone bullied them. If the answer is yes to one or both, talk to child. If teachers, or other students for that matter, see something happening, do something about it. Don't just ignore it. It isn't going to go away.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
THUMBS UP FOR "THE GLASS CASTLE"
"The Glass Castle", is a very inspirational memoir written by Jeannette Walls. It is about a girl who lived in poverty with an alcoholic father, mentally ill mother, and three siblings, whom she loves dearly. She does a fabulous job describing the places she has lived in, and the events that took place in her childhood. She does a fantastic job reaching out to her readers emotionally. I went through several different emotions throughout the book. I could feel what she was feeling. So not only did I love the book, but I loved how she captured me; hook, line, and sinker.
This book has something for almost everyone. A lot of people know someone or have physically been through some of the instances in the book It touches on poverty, sexual abuse, bullying, alcoholism, infidelity, and mental illness. It may even start a debate, because everyone is going to have their own opinion about what is going through the minds of Rose Mary and Rex and the children. Just remember everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You need to have a somewhat open mind when reading it
Most of all, I think this book is inspirational because it shows the close bond of family and what unconditional love is. Rose Mary and her siblings turn out to be wonderful, responsible adults who do what they can to still help out their parents, even after all they had put them through. They don't seem to hold any resentment. That is amazing! So I give it a thumbs up
This book has something for almost everyone. A lot of people know someone or have physically been through some of the instances in the book It touches on poverty, sexual abuse, bullying, alcoholism, infidelity, and mental illness. It may even start a debate, because everyone is going to have their own opinion about what is going through the minds of Rose Mary and Rex and the children. Just remember everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You need to have a somewhat open mind when reading it
Most of all, I think this book is inspirational because it shows the close bond of family and what unconditional love is. Rose Mary and her siblings turn out to be wonderful, responsible adults who do what they can to still help out their parents, even after all they had put them through. They don't seem to hold any resentment. That is amazing! So I give it a thumbs up
Sunday, March 25, 2012
BODY ART
Tattoos-I am going to start off by saying that the body art I am referring to is-tattoos and piercings. When I was a teenager I was very into heavy metal music, black everything. I wanted a tattoo so bad, but I was too scared to get one. I am so thankful that I didn't get one, because I probably would have gotten a skull and crossbones tattoo. I would be very embarrassed to have something like that now. I am very different than what I was then.
If you are looking to get a tattoo, ask yourself if it is something that you will like forever. What is the tattoo going to look like when you get old, and what will it look like if you gain or lose a lot of weight? I know many people that regret what they have tattooed on their bodies. It is usually permanent so make sure you really think about it before you do it. Removing later on may not be that easy.
I am by no means knocking anyone for getting a tattoo. I don't mind some of them. But in my personal opinion, I don't like sleeve tattoos, or any tattoos that cover a good portion of the body. It is ok to express your individuality, and it doesn't matter if someone likes it or not. If you like it that is all that matters. Tattoos these days are more a fad than they ever used to be. All sorts of people are getting them, so there isn't much of a stigma anymore.
Body Piercings-I don't mind body piercings, but some go a little to far. I think that some are just down right nasty, but that is my opinion. Piercings, unlike tattoos, are more easily removed. You can also cover them up well. All you need to do is take them out. Some leave huge holes in your ears though, so you may want to think about that before you try gauging. I have a tiny little scar in my eyebrow from an eyebrow piercing, but no one would ever guess that I had it because you can't see the scar unless you are 10 inches from my face.
I think piercings are becoming more popular, but there are still a lot of people that don't like them. People who have them get stared at a lot. People would stare at me and I would wonder why, but then I would remember I had my eyebrow pierced. I honestly loved my eyebrow ring. I would probably still have it if I didn't have to take it out for my job. I got it to express my individuality.
I am ok with tattoos and body piercings, but I don't like the extremes. Nobody has to agree with me either way, because I have my own opinion. If you like a lot of tattoos and piercings, then go ahead and get them. If you don't want any, then don't get them. As long as you like who you are, body art or no body art.
If you are looking to get a tattoo, ask yourself if it is something that you will like forever. What is the tattoo going to look like when you get old, and what will it look like if you gain or lose a lot of weight? I know many people that regret what they have tattooed on their bodies. It is usually permanent so make sure you really think about it before you do it. Removing later on may not be that easy.
I am by no means knocking anyone for getting a tattoo. I don't mind some of them. But in my personal opinion, I don't like sleeve tattoos, or any tattoos that cover a good portion of the body. It is ok to express your individuality, and it doesn't matter if someone likes it or not. If you like it that is all that matters. Tattoos these days are more a fad than they ever used to be. All sorts of people are getting them, so there isn't much of a stigma anymore.
Body Piercings-I don't mind body piercings, but some go a little to far. I think that some are just down right nasty, but that is my opinion. Piercings, unlike tattoos, are more easily removed. You can also cover them up well. All you need to do is take them out. Some leave huge holes in your ears though, so you may want to think about that before you try gauging. I have a tiny little scar in my eyebrow from an eyebrow piercing, but no one would ever guess that I had it because you can't see the scar unless you are 10 inches from my face.
I think piercings are becoming more popular, but there are still a lot of people that don't like them. People who have them get stared at a lot. People would stare at me and I would wonder why, but then I would remember I had my eyebrow pierced. I honestly loved my eyebrow ring. I would probably still have it if I didn't have to take it out for my job. I got it to express my individuality.
I am ok with tattoos and body piercings, but I don't like the extremes. Nobody has to agree with me either way, because I have my own opinion. If you like a lot of tattoos and piercings, then go ahead and get them. If you don't want any, then don't get them. As long as you like who you are, body art or no body art.
Friday, March 9, 2012
BULLYING
Bullying has become a huge epidemic in schools. There have always been bully's, but it seems to be out of hand, because there is no discipline. Parents aren't disciplining their kids as much and teachers have a hard time disciplining students because they have to worry about offending parents or other students. Some teachers turn a blind eye on bullying, because they don't want to deal with the situation. No matter the reason, it has to stop.
In the past, or at least when I was in high school, suicide was very prevalent, and usually was the end result of some sort of bullying. I studied it a lot. All my reports in high school were on teenage suicide. Now days, however, students are getting revenge before they take their own lives. I am by no means condoning the behavior, because it is so wrong, but I think we need to take a look at what is happening in schools. It shouldn't take suicide, or school shootings to make us see what is really going on in schools.
I was the object of bullying when I was in high school. I was very overweight and so people loved to make cow noises around me. They would call me fat and other names. My friend was called a slut by the ring leader of a group of "mean girls" and when she turned to laugh about it to the others, I told her to, you know what, and she whipped her head around, and looking like a possessed demon, asked "who said that?". Everyone in my group was so quiet and scared, me as well, but I had to face up to an impulsive response to an insult, so I said, "me". The bell rang at that very moment so we all turned to rush to our classes. She caught me in the hall, and slapped me, and told me to never speak to her like that again. I did nothing, but I was glad I said something. I believe you should confront the bully and if they continue to bully you, then you need to go to someone and tell them what is happening, because that is how the bullying is going to end. You can't just wish it away.
I had an episode with my daughter this week that has had me almost crippled with very mixed emotions. Nobody wants to see their high schooler in trouble. The school called me and told me she was in possession of a water bottle that contained alcohol. I was dumbfounded. I was very upset with her. But as the day went on, I found myself getting angry. People were telling me, because she go caught that she was a bad kid. I know it was the first time she tried it. So then I found myself asking people if they would call a pregnant teen a slut, because she got caught having sex and it may have been the first and only time she did it. I found out that the other girl that was also drinking was getting very depressed because of being bullied in school. My daughter was too, but she is pretty tough emotionally so she blows it off. We told the girls that what they did was a mistake and just because there is bullying, doesn't mean they can drink. The point I am trying to make, is that, because of this whole situation, there are going to be changes made and the girls that are doing the bullying are being confronted. Sometimes great things come of big mistakes.
Another issue is labeling. I don't believe that you are who your friends are, or guilt by association. I told my kids after this situation that they can be friends with whoever they want to be, because they can make their own decisions and are responsible for them. But if a friend is encouraging you or pressuring you into something you don't want to do, you need to be strong enough to say no and ask yourself if that person is really your friend, because they obviously don't care about your well being. So, anyhow, this is what leads to labeling. I was constantly labeled a "druggie", because all of my friends did drugs and they all smoked. I never once even tried the stuff. It even got to the point of my teachers accusing me of stuff. They were all labeling me because of the people I hung around. My friends were awesome, and they never, ever pressured me, in fact, they congratulated me on being a strong person. I have to believe that if I can be strong enough to stay away from that, that it may eventually get to one of them and they may make the choice to get away from it. I always felt that maybe I can be the light in the dark.
Labeling, verbal insults, physical abuse and many other things are considered bullying. If we can all watch out for it and voice what is going on, we may be able to make some progress. It is never going to end if we don't address it. Teachers need to be able to address it too. Teachers and students both are scared of what may happen, but worse things can come of it if we don't do something about it. If my daughter's situation turns into a lot of bullying by others, I am going to make a stand against it. Many people are telling me to turn my back and be tough and ignore it, because it's going to happen and I have no control over it. I may not have control, but I will die trying to make a difference. If I can voice my concern, I might be able to reach some, and maybe, after thinking about it for a while, they will realize that what they are doing is wrong. Like I said, good things can come of difficult situations.
In the past, or at least when I was in high school, suicide was very prevalent, and usually was the end result of some sort of bullying. I studied it a lot. All my reports in high school were on teenage suicide. Now days, however, students are getting revenge before they take their own lives. I am by no means condoning the behavior, because it is so wrong, but I think we need to take a look at what is happening in schools. It shouldn't take suicide, or school shootings to make us see what is really going on in schools.
I was the object of bullying when I was in high school. I was very overweight and so people loved to make cow noises around me. They would call me fat and other names. My friend was called a slut by the ring leader of a group of "mean girls" and when she turned to laugh about it to the others, I told her to, you know what, and she whipped her head around, and looking like a possessed demon, asked "who said that?". Everyone in my group was so quiet and scared, me as well, but I had to face up to an impulsive response to an insult, so I said, "me". The bell rang at that very moment so we all turned to rush to our classes. She caught me in the hall, and slapped me, and told me to never speak to her like that again. I did nothing, but I was glad I said something. I believe you should confront the bully and if they continue to bully you, then you need to go to someone and tell them what is happening, because that is how the bullying is going to end. You can't just wish it away.
I had an episode with my daughter this week that has had me almost crippled with very mixed emotions. Nobody wants to see their high schooler in trouble. The school called me and told me she was in possession of a water bottle that contained alcohol. I was dumbfounded. I was very upset with her. But as the day went on, I found myself getting angry. People were telling me, because she go caught that she was a bad kid. I know it was the first time she tried it. So then I found myself asking people if they would call a pregnant teen a slut, because she got caught having sex and it may have been the first and only time she did it. I found out that the other girl that was also drinking was getting very depressed because of being bullied in school. My daughter was too, but she is pretty tough emotionally so she blows it off. We told the girls that what they did was a mistake and just because there is bullying, doesn't mean they can drink. The point I am trying to make, is that, because of this whole situation, there are going to be changes made and the girls that are doing the bullying are being confronted. Sometimes great things come of big mistakes.
Another issue is labeling. I don't believe that you are who your friends are, or guilt by association. I told my kids after this situation that they can be friends with whoever they want to be, because they can make their own decisions and are responsible for them. But if a friend is encouraging you or pressuring you into something you don't want to do, you need to be strong enough to say no and ask yourself if that person is really your friend, because they obviously don't care about your well being. So, anyhow, this is what leads to labeling. I was constantly labeled a "druggie", because all of my friends did drugs and they all smoked. I never once even tried the stuff. It even got to the point of my teachers accusing me of stuff. They were all labeling me because of the people I hung around. My friends were awesome, and they never, ever pressured me, in fact, they congratulated me on being a strong person. I have to believe that if I can be strong enough to stay away from that, that it may eventually get to one of them and they may make the choice to get away from it. I always felt that maybe I can be the light in the dark.
Labeling, verbal insults, physical abuse and many other things are considered bullying. If we can all watch out for it and voice what is going on, we may be able to make some progress. It is never going to end if we don't address it. Teachers need to be able to address it too. Teachers and students both are scared of what may happen, but worse things can come of it if we don't do something about it. If my daughter's situation turns into a lot of bullying by others, I am going to make a stand against it. Many people are telling me to turn my back and be tough and ignore it, because it's going to happen and I have no control over it. I may not have control, but I will die trying to make a difference. If I can voice my concern, I might be able to reach some, and maybe, after thinking about it for a while, they will realize that what they are doing is wrong. Like I said, good things can come of difficult situations.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Functional or Dysfunctional?
When I think of a functional family, I think of the Ingalls, from Little House on the Prairie. The family consists of a mom, a dad, and three children. The kids are good kids and there aren't any domestic issues, drinking problems or other problems. The father works and the mother is nurturing and takes care of the home. Normal, right? I would say at that time it most definately was. I am sure they had some issues, but it seems they were the perfect family.
When I think of a dysfunctional family, I think of the movie Precious. This family consists of a drug addict mother who has different men over all the time, and a teenage daughter, Precious. Precious is neglected and abused, and doesn't receive any love or nurturing from her mother. No matter what, this is a dysfunctional family in every aspect. No child should have to be abused or neglected. There should be more intervention in this kind of a dysfunctional family.
I believe that a functional family has love, respect, and it doesn't have addictions. There is no abuse or neglect. It is a family that has children living with their biological mom and dad. To me that is the perfect family and therefore a functional family. A dysfunctional family is everything else. However, just because I think that a family is dysfunctional doesn't mean it is abnormal. In fact, it is becoming the norm. What I feel is a dysfunctional family may be completely opposite of what someone else feels. I come from a dysfunctional family and so it has helped form my opinion. I talk to people all the time that claim they have a dysfunctional family, so maybe dysfunction is everywhere.
When I think of a dysfunctional family, I think of the movie Precious. This family consists of a drug addict mother who has different men over all the time, and a teenage daughter, Precious. Precious is neglected and abused, and doesn't receive any love or nurturing from her mother. No matter what, this is a dysfunctional family in every aspect. No child should have to be abused or neglected. There should be more intervention in this kind of a dysfunctional family.
I believe that a functional family has love, respect, and it doesn't have addictions. There is no abuse or neglect. It is a family that has children living with their biological mom and dad. To me that is the perfect family and therefore a functional family. A dysfunctional family is everything else. However, just because I think that a family is dysfunctional doesn't mean it is abnormal. In fact, it is becoming the norm. What I feel is a dysfunctional family may be completely opposite of what someone else feels. I come from a dysfunctional family and so it has helped form my opinion. I talk to people all the time that claim they have a dysfunctional family, so maybe dysfunction is everywhere.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
VACATION
Florida or Arizona? Such an easy decision for me. I want to go to Arizona, but my husband wants to go to Florida. He likes Arizona but he's been there a couple times and now wants to go somewhere new. I have been to both states and I personally like Arizona much better.
It has been a long time since I have been to Florida. I went there twice and both times it was so muggy I felt I may die. I hate the hot weather anywhere, but mugginess is the worst. Florida has a lot of theme parks and beaches. They can be fun, but they are so overcrowded. I am not a lover of crowds. I like the palm trees, but otherwise the landscape isn't all that appealing, except the beaches.
Arizona is one of the most beautiful places I have been to. I especially love Sedona. I so badly want to go back there. It is where I would like to live when I retire. The Grand Canyon, of course, is absolutely breathtaking too. The desert isn't much to look at but it is so cool at the same time. The heat in Arizona is dry, so even though the temperatures reach triple digits, it isn't as bad. Yes, I know, it is still hot. But no matter where we go on vacation, it will be in the spring. The weather in both places will be good at that time.
Ultimately I love Arizona. I love the landscape and the hot sunny days. If it were up to me, that is where we would take our vacation. Hopefully after my husband finally sees Florida he will understand that there really is no comparison, at least I don't think there is. A vacation is a vacation, I guess, no matter where we go. I should just be glad that I am able to get a vacation.
It has been a long time since I have been to Florida. I went there twice and both times it was so muggy I felt I may die. I hate the hot weather anywhere, but mugginess is the worst. Florida has a lot of theme parks and beaches. They can be fun, but they are so overcrowded. I am not a lover of crowds. I like the palm trees, but otherwise the landscape isn't all that appealing, except the beaches.
Arizona is one of the most beautiful places I have been to. I especially love Sedona. I so badly want to go back there. It is where I would like to live when I retire. The Grand Canyon, of course, is absolutely breathtaking too. The desert isn't much to look at but it is so cool at the same time. The heat in Arizona is dry, so even though the temperatures reach triple digits, it isn't as bad. Yes, I know, it is still hot. But no matter where we go on vacation, it will be in the spring. The weather in both places will be good at that time.
Ultimately I love Arizona. I love the landscape and the hot sunny days. If it were up to me, that is where we would take our vacation. Hopefully after my husband finally sees Florida he will understand that there really is no comparison, at least I don't think there is. A vacation is a vacation, I guess, no matter where we go. I should just be glad that I am able to get a vacation.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
I remember the first time I heard about Facebook. I had told my daughter that I didn't think she should be on My Space. I had heard it was kind of bad, not censored. So she told me about Facebook. She told me that basically it was a censored My Space. So I guess I was okay with her being on Facebook. I had absolutely no desire to be on it. I thought it was just a place for teens to go on and talk about whatever was going on in their lives. I was not about to share my thoughts with the world.
About two years later my daughter was showing me some pictures that my sister-in-law had posted. I was so in awe that you could see all these pictures, that I decided I would like to be on Facebook. She helped me set up and account and showed me how to upload and tag pictures, request and confirm friends, and, make and read posts.
First of all, I found that I did not like the pictures people were tagging of me. There were several that I absolutely didn't want people to see. Nothing real bad, just me looking bad. But I still didn't want me tagged. I found out that I couldn't untag myself and that the only way to remove the tag was to have the person that tagged it remove it. I was so upset. I have since learned how to untag, so I am okay with being tagged, knowing that I can remove it. I do love to see pictures of distant and close relatives and their families. So there are the good and the bad to pictures on Facebook.
Second, I was requesting friends left and right. I would see that so and so was friends with several people I went to school with. Others were friends of just people I had heard of. I, of course, have to add all those people. Then there were all those people who requested me that I didn't even know. Most of them I confirmed. Needless to say, I really am not friends with the majority of them. Almost everyone on my friends list is just an aquaintance.
I love reading posts. I don't watch the news, so I love the fact that I can find out news through Facebook. I heard of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Whitney Houston's deaths all on Facebook. I like to hear results of dance competitions and other sports. I also like to hear of engagements, parties, and other events. I, however, don't like to say much in my posts. I use to post a lot, but I realized that I really didn't have too many important things to say.
Facebook is a wonderful place to keep in touch with friends and family. It is a great way to see them, through pictures, and to chat with them. I don't think that we need to be friends with so many people. If you don't know anything about a person except their name, delete them from your list. A lot of people like to stalk their friends and just read their profiles and posts, and look at their pictures. I realized I don't want people I barely know looking at my pictures and reading my posts to satisfy their curiosity. It has gotten to be just a public display of your whole life.
About two years later my daughter was showing me some pictures that my sister-in-law had posted. I was so in awe that you could see all these pictures, that I decided I would like to be on Facebook. She helped me set up and account and showed me how to upload and tag pictures, request and confirm friends, and, make and read posts.
First of all, I found that I did not like the pictures people were tagging of me. There were several that I absolutely didn't want people to see. Nothing real bad, just me looking bad. But I still didn't want me tagged. I found out that I couldn't untag myself and that the only way to remove the tag was to have the person that tagged it remove it. I was so upset. I have since learned how to untag, so I am okay with being tagged, knowing that I can remove it. I do love to see pictures of distant and close relatives and their families. So there are the good and the bad to pictures on Facebook.
Second, I was requesting friends left and right. I would see that so and so was friends with several people I went to school with. Others were friends of just people I had heard of. I, of course, have to add all those people. Then there were all those people who requested me that I didn't even know. Most of them I confirmed. Needless to say, I really am not friends with the majority of them. Almost everyone on my friends list is just an aquaintance.
I love reading posts. I don't watch the news, so I love the fact that I can find out news through Facebook. I heard of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Whitney Houston's deaths all on Facebook. I like to hear results of dance competitions and other sports. I also like to hear of engagements, parties, and other events. I, however, don't like to say much in my posts. I use to post a lot, but I realized that I really didn't have too many important things to say.
Facebook is a wonderful place to keep in touch with friends and family. It is a great way to see them, through pictures, and to chat with them. I don't think that we need to be friends with so many people. If you don't know anything about a person except their name, delete them from your list. A lot of people like to stalk their friends and just read their profiles and posts, and look at their pictures. I realized I don't want people I barely know looking at my pictures and reading my posts to satisfy their curiosity. It has gotten to be just a public display of your whole life.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
TIME
As I drive to work every morning, I make a mental note of what needs to get done for the day, week, or month. Even though I have a schedule in place, I feel like I don't even come close to following it. Sometimes I think that maybe I have a little too much on my plate. But what it comes down to is that I just need to manage my time a little better. But as the saying goes, "it is easier said than done". Time is what we all wish we had more of.
Now that I have started school, it has been really hard allowing enough time for my classes. I have been out for so long. I have forgotten how much work there is. I have been doing a lot of my work on my days off, which I used to use for cleaning my house. I have to say that I have fallen way behind on my housework. Getting up an hour earlier every morning would help a lot. I could at least do a couple loads of laundry. Which, of course, would give me an extra hour at night to do my homework. I could also work harder on getting my kids to help out a little more. There are other ways, too, that I could squeeze in homework, and get what needs to be done, done. That would also free up some time on my days off.
First, I haven't exercised at all, because I feel that I certainly don't have time for that. But as I write this right now, I am walking on my treadmill. So that is one problem solved. I think that I will be able to actually accomplish a lot more homework doing this. My mind is completely clear and I am not even thinking about the fact that I am getting exercise. I think that I am killing more than two birds with one stone, because I will also have more energy to get more of everything done. I won't be lazy and want to watch t.v.
Second, on the nights that I have to bring my son to basketball, I usually have to stay there for an hour and a half until he is done. There is no point driving home when I have to turn right back around and go get him. So while I am there, I might as well do some homework. Reading is probably going to be the easiest, or I could take notes. I have tried bringing my homework with to his games because sometimes there are several hours between games. That does not work. There is way to much noise, and action.
Finally, home cooked meals? Nonexistent. I let my family fend for themselves, or I pick up food on the way home from work. However, If I could take fifteen minutes out in the morning to throw something in the crock pot, they would have a good meal when they get home. I also also give my two kids at least one night to make a meal of their choice. They are 15 and almost 12, certainly capable of cooking. My oldest daughter is in college, so I don't have her to cook anymore. I had her cooking by the time she was 8 or 9. She is an excellent cook and loves to cook. I really miss her cooking. So, getting back to the subject, I can eat, not worry about cooking, and therefore have a clearer mind to do some homework, knowing that everyone ate well.
Time flies, and if I do not find a way to work all this in to my schedule, I will miss everything that is important to me. I have to save time for my family. I need to start visiting my mom, my grandma's, my dad, and my brother. I also need to make time for friends and other family. You never know when or if you may see them again. I know I can do this, IF I HAD MORE TIME, I know for sure I could. But unfortunately you only get the time that is allowed and you need to make the most of it. And so I will. From this day forward, I will.
Now that I have started school, it has been really hard allowing enough time for my classes. I have been out for so long. I have forgotten how much work there is. I have been doing a lot of my work on my days off, which I used to use for cleaning my house. I have to say that I have fallen way behind on my housework. Getting up an hour earlier every morning would help a lot. I could at least do a couple loads of laundry. Which, of course, would give me an extra hour at night to do my homework. I could also work harder on getting my kids to help out a little more. There are other ways, too, that I could squeeze in homework, and get what needs to be done, done. That would also free up some time on my days off.
First, I haven't exercised at all, because I feel that I certainly don't have time for that. But as I write this right now, I am walking on my treadmill. So that is one problem solved. I think that I will be able to actually accomplish a lot more homework doing this. My mind is completely clear and I am not even thinking about the fact that I am getting exercise. I think that I am killing more than two birds with one stone, because I will also have more energy to get more of everything done. I won't be lazy and want to watch t.v.
Second, on the nights that I have to bring my son to basketball, I usually have to stay there for an hour and a half until he is done. There is no point driving home when I have to turn right back around and go get him. So while I am there, I might as well do some homework. Reading is probably going to be the easiest, or I could take notes. I have tried bringing my homework with to his games because sometimes there are several hours between games. That does not work. There is way to much noise, and action.
Finally, home cooked meals? Nonexistent. I let my family fend for themselves, or I pick up food on the way home from work. However, If I could take fifteen minutes out in the morning to throw something in the crock pot, they would have a good meal when they get home. I also also give my two kids at least one night to make a meal of their choice. They are 15 and almost 12, certainly capable of cooking. My oldest daughter is in college, so I don't have her to cook anymore. I had her cooking by the time she was 8 or 9. She is an excellent cook and loves to cook. I really miss her cooking. So, getting back to the subject, I can eat, not worry about cooking, and therefore have a clearer mind to do some homework, knowing that everyone ate well.
Time flies, and if I do not find a way to work all this in to my schedule, I will miss everything that is important to me. I have to save time for my family. I need to start visiting my mom, my grandma's, my dad, and my brother. I also need to make time for friends and other family. You never know when or if you may see them again. I know I can do this, IF I HAD MORE TIME, I know for sure I could. But unfortunately you only get the time that is allowed and you need to make the most of it. And so I will. From this day forward, I will.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
GRANDPA MARV
My Grandpa Marv, short for Marvin, was the most important person in the world to me. He was tall, with dark hair, dark skin, probably from working on a farm, and pale blue eyes. He wore jeans, button down shirts, a ball cap, and rubber boots most days because he had to milk cows and other chores one his dairy farm. He chewed tobacco, so I actually love the smell of Copenhagen; it reminds me of him. He had rough hands from being a hardworking man. The tip of one of his fingers had been cut off by a piece of farm machinery.
I remember when he would have to go out into the fields to plow, or whatever it was he had to do, and I would go with him. He had a big blue tractor with a white cab that I was able to sit with him in. I remember being scared when we would be on the slope of a hill. I thought for sure we would tip over. He would also take me with to milk the cows and to feed them. I would walk down the aisle that was between the two rows of cows eating. I was scared that they might bite me. I also remember being with him when a vet came out to deliver a calf. It was not a pretty sight. I don't think I need to share the details of that.
My grandpa loved to go for long drives in his blue ford pickup. We would go visit friends of his or just drive around. He would almost always take me to the Wanamingo Creamery. I would get an ice cream sandwich every time. That is probably one of the best memories I have. He once brought me to the doctor with him, to get stitches taken out of his hand, I can almost here him chuckle, as I had to turn my head because I couldn't watch. I even remember him, a few times, stopping at a bar in Wanamingo, while we were out driving around. It didn't bother me to be there, I was just happy to be with him.
This is all that I remember before he got really sick. He had cancer, but did really well for several years. He and my grandma had to sell their farm because he wasn't able to do the work anymore. I was about 7. He moved to a trailer house out in the country. There was a two door garage and an old barn. It also had a big weeping willow tree that I would imagine was my house. There was also a corn crib that we would play in. I remember it always being cold and windy.
As my grandpa got sicker, I got more nervous. He had an oxygen tank so I was so scared he was going to stop breathing. He was tired a lot and would have to take naps. I would lie down with him and just stare at his chest. If it didn't rise and fall after so long, I would shake him to make sure he was still alive. I look back at that and feel bad; here he was trying to sleep and I was waking him up constantly. I did stuff for him, because I wouldn't want him getting up. If he needed something I would get, if I could. He called me his little nurse. He picked me up once from school, I was in third or fourth grade, and when we got out of his blue Ford truck, he fell. I remember being so scared. He assured me he was ok and that he just needed to rest before he started walking again. I just waited with him.
My grandpa's cancer had spread almost everywhere by the time I was 10. He and my grandma knew his time was short. I remember being there when a pastor came out to talk with them, I'm assuming about death. I was nervous and kept putting my feet up on the coffee table. My grandma, I think, was getting irritated. She kept putting my feet down. I just didn't want to hear what was being said.
My grandpa and grandma celebrated their 40th anniversary right before he died. There is a picture that I just love from that day. It is of him and my grandma by a picnic table that had all their anniversary gifts on it. He was sitting on a chair, wearing a black jacket with yellow and gold stripes around the bottom of the sleeves and collar. He also had his blue and white baseball cap on that said Cannon River Inn, which was the name of my dad's bar. My grandma was standing behind him. He looks ill in the picture, but he was smiling and it is exactly how I remember him.
On October 4th, 1985, my grandpa died at St. Mary's hospital in Rochester. He was 58 years old. He had gone into the hospital about 2 weeks before. I wasn't able to see him; my mom thought seeing him would upset me. I remember being mad because I had a distant cousin got to go see him. He was supposed to be released on Friday, October 4th, so my cousin and I had made him several welcome home cards. I was so excited. When I walked out of my classroom, after the dismissal bell rang. I rushed to get my coat and backpack, I passed my uncle who was there to pick up my cousin. I thought it was odd that he would be there and then I saw my mom. I had a feeling something was wrong because of the expressions on their faces. It was possibly a sad expression. I told my mom, very excitedly, how my cousin and I made these cards for my grandpa. She didn't say anything. I was scared. When we got out to our truck, she told me he wouldn't be coming home. He had died of a heart attack I instantly started crying, and I just couldn't figure out how he could have died the same day he was suppose to come home. I felt I lost everything that day.
I have so many other memories of grandpa, way too many to put into writing. He treated me so well. I was his girl. I am so glad that I got to spend so much time with him. I feel I spent more time with him in 10 years, than I have anyone else in my lifetime. My Grandpa Marv will always have a very special place in my heart. If there is a heaven, and which I believe there is, I can't wait to see him.
I remember when he would have to go out into the fields to plow, or whatever it was he had to do, and I would go with him. He had a big blue tractor with a white cab that I was able to sit with him in. I remember being scared when we would be on the slope of a hill. I thought for sure we would tip over. He would also take me with to milk the cows and to feed them. I would walk down the aisle that was between the two rows of cows eating. I was scared that they might bite me. I also remember being with him when a vet came out to deliver a calf. It was not a pretty sight. I don't think I need to share the details of that.
My grandpa loved to go for long drives in his blue ford pickup. We would go visit friends of his or just drive around. He would almost always take me to the Wanamingo Creamery. I would get an ice cream sandwich every time. That is probably one of the best memories I have. He once brought me to the doctor with him, to get stitches taken out of his hand, I can almost here him chuckle, as I had to turn my head because I couldn't watch. I even remember him, a few times, stopping at a bar in Wanamingo, while we were out driving around. It didn't bother me to be there, I was just happy to be with him.
This is all that I remember before he got really sick. He had cancer, but did really well for several years. He and my grandma had to sell their farm because he wasn't able to do the work anymore. I was about 7. He moved to a trailer house out in the country. There was a two door garage and an old barn. It also had a big weeping willow tree that I would imagine was my house. There was also a corn crib that we would play in. I remember it always being cold and windy.
As my grandpa got sicker, I got more nervous. He had an oxygen tank so I was so scared he was going to stop breathing. He was tired a lot and would have to take naps. I would lie down with him and just stare at his chest. If it didn't rise and fall after so long, I would shake him to make sure he was still alive. I look back at that and feel bad; here he was trying to sleep and I was waking him up constantly. I did stuff for him, because I wouldn't want him getting up. If he needed something I would get, if I could. He called me his little nurse. He picked me up once from school, I was in third or fourth grade, and when we got out of his blue Ford truck, he fell. I remember being so scared. He assured me he was ok and that he just needed to rest before he started walking again. I just waited with him.
My grandpa's cancer had spread almost everywhere by the time I was 10. He and my grandma knew his time was short. I remember being there when a pastor came out to talk with them, I'm assuming about death. I was nervous and kept putting my feet up on the coffee table. My grandma, I think, was getting irritated. She kept putting my feet down. I just didn't want to hear what was being said.
My grandpa and grandma celebrated their 40th anniversary right before he died. There is a picture that I just love from that day. It is of him and my grandma by a picnic table that had all their anniversary gifts on it. He was sitting on a chair, wearing a black jacket with yellow and gold stripes around the bottom of the sleeves and collar. He also had his blue and white baseball cap on that said Cannon River Inn, which was the name of my dad's bar. My grandma was standing behind him. He looks ill in the picture, but he was smiling and it is exactly how I remember him.
On October 4th, 1985, my grandpa died at St. Mary's hospital in Rochester. He was 58 years old. He had gone into the hospital about 2 weeks before. I wasn't able to see him; my mom thought seeing him would upset me. I remember being mad because I had a distant cousin got to go see him. He was supposed to be released on Friday, October 4th, so my cousin and I had made him several welcome home cards. I was so excited. When I walked out of my classroom, after the dismissal bell rang. I rushed to get my coat and backpack, I passed my uncle who was there to pick up my cousin. I thought it was odd that he would be there and then I saw my mom. I had a feeling something was wrong because of the expressions on their faces. It was possibly a sad expression. I told my mom, very excitedly, how my cousin and I made these cards for my grandpa. She didn't say anything. I was scared. When we got out to our truck, she told me he wouldn't be coming home. He had died of a heart attack I instantly started crying, and I just couldn't figure out how he could have died the same day he was suppose to come home. I felt I lost everything that day.
I have so many other memories of grandpa, way too many to put into writing. He treated me so well. I was his girl. I am so glad that I got to spend so much time with him. I feel I spent more time with him in 10 years, than I have anyone else in my lifetime. My Grandpa Marv will always have a very special place in my heart. If there is a heaven, and which I believe there is, I can't wait to see him.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
IT IS WHAT IT IS
The most inspiring thing I have ever heard. I thought and thought about what I should choose to write about. I don't know of any poems or songs that mean any thing to me or that have inspired me. So, I know you must be wondering why this saying?. I know it's an odd choice. It probably means nothing to a lot of people. It is, after all, a very common thing to say. I will shorten up my very long story so you can see why these five words have inspired me to move on with my life, and to make better choices. Forgive myself.
I heard it for the very first time about 3 years ago. I am sure a lot of people said it then, but I honestly never heard it before. I had really let down some immediate members of my family. I got a divorce and lost a house that was on the land they gave me. The house was suppose to stay in the family. I made some really bad choices, and I had beaten my self up over it every day because of the hurt and anger I caused my family, especially my brother. I was very emotionally distraught over it, until one day my mom and I were talking and she said to me "Tanya, it is it what it is. There is nothing you can do. It is just a house. You need to move on." She had told my brother the same thing. She didn't want to take sides so she had to let us know that "it is what it is" and we both need to move on. I said those words over and over again and really thought about them. I was so inspired to move on with my life.
My mom telling me this has really changed my life. Had I not heard it, I probably would not have the relationship that I now have with my brother and family. I don't think either one of us would have been able to forgive me. Hearing those five words has helped me to forgive, to let me know that I can't change the past, that I need to deal with it and move on.
The most inspiring thing I have ever heard. I thought and thought about what I should choose to write about. I don't know of any poems or songs that mean any thing to me or that have inspired me. So, I know you must be wondering why this saying?. I know it's an odd choice. It probably means nothing to a lot of people. It is, after all, a very common thing to say. I will shorten up my very long story so you can see why these five words have inspired me to move on with my life, and to make better choices. Forgive myself.
I heard it for the very first time about 3 years ago. I am sure a lot of people said it then, but I honestly never heard it before. I had really let down some immediate members of my family. I got a divorce and lost a house that was on the land they gave me. The house was suppose to stay in the family. I made some really bad choices, and I had beaten my self up over it every day because of the hurt and anger I caused my family, especially my brother. I was very emotionally distraught over it, until one day my mom and I were talking and she said to me "Tanya, it is it what it is. There is nothing you can do. It is just a house. You need to move on." She had told my brother the same thing. She didn't want to take sides so she had to let us know that "it is what it is" and we both need to move on. I said those words over and over again and really thought about them. I was so inspired to move on with my life.
My mom telling me this has really changed my life. Had I not heard it, I probably would not have the relationship that I now have with my brother and family. I don't think either one of us would have been able to forgive me. Hearing those five words has helped me to forgive, to let me know that I can't change the past, that I need to deal with it and move on.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
COLLEGE
It seems a little weird to be going back to school at the same time that my daughter is. I think it will be very interesting and hopefully helpful. We are both taking a writing class this semester, so I think maybe we will be able to compare notes and help each other out.
I love to write, but not necessarily for everyone to see what I write. My daughter on the other hand can write anything and she makes it look so easy. I love what she writes. Her blogs are always so fun to read. When she reads my blog, she is going to roll her eyes after she sees what I have written. But things just don't flow from my mind like they do from hers. I hope to be able to write like that someday.
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